Life

is changing. Something is changing. I can feel it. It's good, but I feel a little grabbing in my heart, a small anxiety that the future is unknown and frightening.

I added another 10 hours of massage to my schedule, another job, and a different attitude about work. I realized that I AM a massage therapist. I've been licensed and working for 6 years, I was a little burned out at one time, and then suddenly I loved my work again. Passionately and with all my heart and soul. I just feel happiness exploding out of my heart and radiating into the world around me and I figured I should actively pursue the creation and evolution of my career. Which is small, but all mine.

So now, most of my energy going to work, I pack lunch and dinner and sometimes breakfast for myself right before bed, right after I get home so that I can preserve my early morning half hour with Jacob before he goes to work. Then I go from one job to the next and in between supervising little girls at the playground and waiting for clients to show up, I squeeze in a little Spanish study or jewelry design, wedding planning or plant watering. Or laundry. The wanting to do is endless, and every year I like I need to focus in just a little more, streamline and cut out the fat so to speak.

I miss my family. I miss you guys. I want to bring you all along with me into this new world I feel like I'm entering. Or have already entered and am only now noticing the new surroundings. I've talked about Elijah being a fledgling, I feel like I myself am only just losing my down and learning how to fly.