For the first time ever, I threw away candy. (let there be a big drumroll)
I know, I know, it goes against the grain and sounds really wierd. "You threw away treats?!"
Here's the unvarnished and slightly embarassing story.
Three (four?) days ago, when I went to pick up some groceries for dinner, I also secretly bought some Cadburry orange creme filled easter eggs. Sometimes I start to feel irrationally worried if there is no candy in the house (even though there rarely is) and a good cure is to buy some, eat some good food, and just hide the candy. I know it's there if I really want it, and usually I really don't. So, I stuck my cadburrys in the freezer behind and underneath where they wouldn't be discovered and eaten and ate good food and felt better.
Yesterday morning, I didn't have to work, so after Jacob left for work, I very luxuriously went back to bed to read a book. After a couple hours, I started getting telepathic messages from my freezer. "Come to me... isn't chocolate and a book in bed in the morning the greatest thing ever?"
I was weak. I was tired. I hadn't really eaten breakfast. I was close to the end of the book. I was lazy. And it sounded like a good idea. So I got out the frozen treats, and munched my way through one. Then another. After that I felt sick. I'd finished my book, and realized I'd just eaten about 6 Tbsp of sugar for breakfast.
Ugh. In my defense, I haven't done that in a few years, but I did do it yesterday. So, I got up, and fighting my instincts to pack on carbs in case there's some kind of natural disaster and I need to go into starvation mode, I threw the remaining two away.
Now, I've just worked my way through some tomato soup and homemade pizza for breakfast. I'm still kind of thinking about the very edible chocolate that was in the garbage yesterday, and also thinking about one of my favorite subjects, why do we do the things we do? why do some things automatically make us nervous, or relieved? Why do I feel safer knowing there is candy hidden and anxious knowing that I'd have to go down two flights of stairs and cross a street to go buy some? It's a very curious thing to me.
3 comments:
My "whys" are usually more to the tune of: "WHY did I just eat that?" or even more neurotically: "WHY am I eating this and WHY can't I stop?"
Congratulations on purging your Cadbury stash. I can relate too well to the longing glances you gave them even after you threw them out. I have done similar brave acts in the past, only to retrieve them later. The REAL secret to chucking the choco-eggs once and for all is to do something awful to them before you put them in the garbage, something that renders inedible. Like dip them in the toilet first. Or step on them outside, shoes on, in gravel.
I've gotten really spoiled by Google Reader. Now that your blog is private I have to remind myself that I won't receive an update when you post. I would have been here long ago if I was so well-trained to wait for the bell to ring. It's not just Pavlov's dog who's conditioned.
xoxoxo
That is, if I WASN'T so well-trained . . . .
haha! Good job, throwing away candy is hard to do, but sometimes it just needs to be done. (:
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